Remembering Mary Eliza Whittle Scott

On the 110th anniversary of Mary's birth on Oct. 4th, 1902, we highlight her later years.  Jeanene wrote about her activities following Kenneth's passing:

Mary had a keen interest in tapes and books, particularly those on gospel doctrine and the writings of the prophets, and she spent many happy, productive hours studying and enjoying their contents.  She constantly encouraged her numerous grandchildren to serve missions and obtain college educations.  She generously provided funding for some of her younger children's missionary sons and daughters as they served throughout the world.  She and Kenneth always encouraged them to live gospel-centered lives and spoke forcefully to them about their own deep commitment through Christmas messages, and by tapes and videos that are treasures to all of their descendants.

Mary and Kenneth had thoroughly enjoyed their Utah years, and Richard and Jeanene did everything they could to make their lives comfortable.  Jeanene helped them with many of their day-to-day needs, such as fixing Mary's hair, and taking them grocery shopping; in addition, she handled all of their finances, including sorting out their many investments.  In 1988, the same year that Kenneth passed away, Richard was called as a member of the Quorum of the Twelve, and as a result his responsibilities and travel schedule grew heavier.  After discussion with the family, Mary moved to from Salt Lake City to an assisted living facility in Atlanta, where Gerald and Betty watched over her with great care.  She remained in Atlanta until her passing in 1998.  

Following is Gerald's tender account of Mary's final days.  Thank you, Gerald, for sharing this with us!

Friday, 5 June 1998

…Mother’s speech has become very garbled and she seems to be having difficulty articulating her words. One of the last things she said, she spoke to Betty in the emergency room of the hospital. She said as clearly as any one could: “I am lonesome for Kenneth.”

Walt, Mary, Kenneth, and Richard, undated

Saturday, 6 June 1998

I spoke with most of the family members today, each one personally. Richard had arranged a conference call with Wayne, Ann, Mitch, Richard Betty and I. After bringing everyone up to date on Mother’s condition and prognosis, I asked each person individually if they felt we should give Mother a blessing…intended to ask the Lord to grant her a peaceful passing according to his will. Most seemed to feel this was an appropriate….Richard suggested that I give the blessing, but rely upon the Spirit for the direction the blessing would take.

We all felt that this was a wise course. I asked all of the Family to join with me in a fast to prepare for the blessing that I would give to Mother at 7:00 PM Sunday evening. Following this call I called Walt, explained the situation and found him to be agreeable to the course we would follow.

Gerald, Wayne, Walt, Mitchel, and Richard at Mary's funeral

We continue to spend time with Mother in the hospital, each day. We are having Annette and those who assist her stay with Mother. They see that Mother is fed and receives whatever is required to make her as comfortable as possible and provide her with extra care.

Sunday 7 June 1998

This afternoon, we gathered as a family in Mother’s hospital room. Greg, Mitchel’s son, had driven down from Greensboro so that he could assist me in the blessing. Carol had each of her children present (except Daniel who was working): Rachel, Emily, Laura. Betty was there and Annette Taylor who has given Mother such complete and loving care, was present as well.

Each of her sons had called her during the afternoon and had spoken to Mother and she was at times able to respond audibly to them. It was evident that she could hear their voices from the expression on her face and in her eyes.

At 7:00 PM, with members of our family all over the country joining in fasting and prayer, Greg and I stood at the head of Mother’s bed. I laid my hands on Mothers head, joined by Greg Scott by my side. I expressed our love for Mother, and gave her a blessing of peace and comfort. I explained to our Heavenly Father that we did not wish to alter in any way his timetable for Mother’s passing, but that we wished Mother and He to know that as a family, were ready for her to leave this life and join her beloved Kenneth when the time was appropriate. Near the conclusion of the blessing, I asked , as a petition to Heavenly Father, to bless Mother with peace of mind, and freedom from any pain to the extent that could be made possible and that her passing would be sweet and peaceful when the time came. (The blessing was longer than this, but this is the essence.) I felt a great sense of peace at the conclusion of the blessing. Greg expressed a similar feeling.

It was an emotional and tearful experience for each one present. Almost immediately after the blessing Mother’s respiration rate slowed down noticeably, and she did seem more at peace. 

Mary showing off a flower bed.  Does anyone know the date on this photo?

Monday, 8 June 1998 

I called Dr Cucher’s office shortly after his office opened….I said that speaking on behalf of the family, and in accordance with Mother’s living will we wanted all life support functions to be withdrawn from Mother. Only that her breathing was to be assisted with the oxygen she had been receiving. He agreed with this action and said he would prescribe whatever pain medication was needed.

…I told Dr. Cucher, that we wanted to have Mother come to our home as soon as we could make the necessary arrangements for the needed equipment. 

Wednesday, 10 June 1998  

On Tuesday, the hospice people arranged for an equipment supplier to deliver a hospital style bed, an oxygen generator, other needed equipment and a supply of medication for Mother.

An ambulance service brought Mother to our home after she was released from the hospital. Betty and Carol and Annette were all there when Mother arrived and very quickly had her settled and comfortable in her new surroundings. It was good to have Mother with us again.

For a time, in the hospital Mother would open her eyes when you called her by name; she was not able to communicate by voice but seemed to respond. The last time I remember Mother really communicating in a meaningful way was when Dr. Kehl, her very faithful home teacher, and member of our ward Bishopric visited her. When he came in her room, he raised his right index finger and spoke to Mother, she recognized his voice, opened her eyes, saw that personal sign he always gave her and she responded by raising her right index finger.

All of us felt that Mother seemed to be more comfortable and peaceful, now that she was with us and surrounded by those who loved her. Especially Betty, Carol and Annette Taylor gave her much kind and loving care during her last days on earth. Carol, because of her skills and experience as an intensive care nurse for many years, was particularly effective in providing Mother the skilled care she needed. She spent many long hours with her, day and night.

It seemed that Betty was almost always by Mother’s side. She was not able to sleep well during this time and while we had 24-hour care for Mother, Betty was with Mother as well.

Betty and Mom had a wonderful relationship, which began from the very first day they met. Mother had always wanted a daughter and Betty filled that need beautifully as her first daughter in law. They were always close throughout the nearly fifty years they were together. I know Mother’s life was greatly enriched by the kindness and love my wonderful wife gave my Mother in so many, many ways. Especially was this true during the last eight years Mother made her home in Atlanta.

The Hospice people came regularly to see Mother. They were wonderful. I can’t say enough about the blessing and benefits of the Hospice program. Its medical focus is to provide the care needed when it becomes evident the patient will not recover. They are dedicated to making this period of life as comfortable and peaceful as it possible to make it.

Annette Taylor who had been Mother’s primary caregiver during the last five years also continued her kind and loving care of Mother. The quality of Mother’s life over this entire period has been greatly increased because of Annette’s constant kindness and attention. Over this time a deep and lasting bond of affection developed between Mother and Annette. The family will ever be grateful for Annette and the love and care she has so faithfully given our Mother. 

Saturday, 13 June 1998

This morning I had to leave and travel to Dahlonega, Georgia to speak to a Regional Young Adult Conference convened on the North Georgia College campus. I felt uneasy about going and was promoted to give Mother a blessing before I left. As I laid my hands on Mother’s head I knew she would not be with us much longer. I was prompted to give her a blessing of peace and freedom from pain, and to assure her that she should feel no restraints from her family when the time came for her to leave this life. That the Lord, in his own way and in his own time, would make that moment known to her in a clear and unmistakable manner.

Sunday, 14 June 1998  

Neither Betty nor Carol and I attended our Church meetings today. We wanted to be with mother. Annette had spent the night with Mother and had gone back to here apartment to rest.

Mother had a peaceful day. In the late afternoon, I was downstairs, alone with Mother. Betty and Carol had gone upstairs briefly. I stood by her bed and looked at her kind face and soft white hair and silently thanked her and my Eternal Father for her remarkable influence upon my life. It became apparent that a change in Mother’s condition was occurring. Her breathing was becoming much more shallow and the artery in her neck was pulsing much slower.

I called to Betty and Carol and they quickly joined me. Betty and I stood together on one side and Carol on the other side of Mother’s bed. Mother’s breathing became slower and shallower and finally ceased completely. Our mother passed away very peacefully, and, I feel, with no pain or discomfort at 5:44 PM Sunday, 14 June 1998.

While it was a tearful and sad experience for us, I also know it was a peaceful passing and joyous reunion with her beloved Kenneth and others of her remarkable ancestry. While we will all miss Mother’s happy smile, her quick wit and frequent expressions of appreciation and love for her family, I know she is in a far better place--where our Mother, Mary “Queen of Scott’s,” can once again continue her eternal progress, side by side with her eternal companion, our beloved Father, Kenneth LeRoy Scott.

Mary Eliza Whittle Scott, Queen of Scotts