In Mary’s own words: Early Years

[Mary's history is taken from several taped interviews over the years.  Many thanks to Aunt Ann who transcribed and organized them.]

MARY:  I am the first and oldest daughter of William Casper and Margaret Smith Whittle, born the fourth day of October1902. To me that seems a very short while ago. Calendar-wise, we know better.

Mary's father, William Casper Whittle (1876-1937)

Mary's mother, Margaret Shields Smith (1878-1952)

Mary Eliza Whittle (1902-1998) and her brother Merkle Leroi Whittle (1900-1925)

I was the second child. My brother LeRoi was born the 7th of March, 1900.

LeRoi Whittle, summer of 1922.

Then came Adam Clair. He was given the name Adam for our paternal grandparent, Adam Gibson Smith. Clair was born the 18th day of May, 1905. I remember the day our only sister came to live with us. I guess it was because I wanted a sister so very much. It seemed everyone around us had boys.

My day had been spent with my Aunt Retta Martin, Father’s married sister and a very favorite aunt. It was a beautiful March day, the 16th, to be exact, 1908. The dirty snow of that time of year had just about all melted off the ground and the first signs of good green grass could be seen. I had to walk about a half of mile home before I could see her. It was such a long way this day.

She was about the fattest little baby you ever would find it, seemed to me. She weighed 12 and 1/ 4 pounds. When she was named Lura, I know I was very jealous. My name was as common as it was possible to make, named for both of my grandmothers--Mary for Father’s mother and Eliza for my grandmother Smith--while her’s was Lura May. It took a long time to really appreciate my own name, but I truly say I do now.

Lura May Whittle (1908-2001) and Mary Eliza Whittle (1902-1998)

Next in the family was another boy. I was disappointed but not the folks.  I think Father was very happy to carry on the family name. This brother was part of the family tradition--Ralph Casper. I don’t know how many Caspers there are in the family. I do know it goes beyond my father’s. Ralph was born the 26th of December,1910. Our family was growing.

We were very happy when the last brother came. This one we all had a say in what he was to be called. Part of us wanted the name Raymond. It wasn’t the majority because he became Theo Ray, born the hottest month of the year, August 20th, 1914.

Theo Ray Whittle (1914-1978), Sept. 1926

GERALD REMEMBERS THEO:
...Theodore Ray Whittle, Mother's youngest brother.  I remember him well....When I returned to Pocatello one summer while in High school. Theo, as he was known, worked for an office supply firm in Pocatello. In the evenings Theo taught me how to clean and repair typewriters, of which there used to be many. 

The setting for my early years
MARY:  My grandfather [George Page Whittle] built the first brick home in Oakley for his first wife. He was a polygamist. He had two wives. We had the first galvanized long bathtub. My father drilled a hole in the kitchen wall and put a spigot through the wall and let it drain outdoors from the kitchen. When Grandpa, his father, was so very ill they plugged the hole up there and took the bath tub for him. We’d heat the water on the stove and then let it drain out. We only had one pipe in the middle of the kitchen. That was all the water we had.

Mary's father, William Casper Whittle, and sons Leroi, Clair, and Ralph?

We had the first phonograph—a 1901 Edison phonograph. The record was as thick as my finger. All the kids would come to our house and listen to music.

Mary wrote: "Mary Whittle--off to high school."

[Regarding the first electrical appliance:] Ours was a washing machine. I remember Mother had gone to Conference in Salt Lake and when she came back she’d say, “You just can’t imagine. You go over to the wall and touch a little button and whole room would light up. The wire was hung from the center of the room down with one globe in it and the whole room would light up. I thought that was the most marvelous thing in the world. I just couldn’t see how the whole room would light up just by touching a little button. She didn’t tell me it was wired.

On the back of the photo:  "Helth Dance, 1919.  Dovey Puckett, Zara Haight, Clairssa Matthews and Mary Whittle [front row on the left]." Mary added: "Beehive girls."  She was 17 years old.

Mary is in the front, second from the left.

We had one of first radios.  It was battery charged. We thought that was just marvelous because we could get the music from the air. That was when we were first married.

Mary Whittle and Maybell Haight (first cousin to Elder David B. Haight, who also grew up in Oakley, and was just four years younger than Mary)

About this time the First World War was making headlines. It didn’t seem to matter much at the time but it wasn’t long until LeRoy was old enough and he would have to go into training soon but the armistice was signed. Many families had much to be thankful for at that time. I had a boyfriend that I wrote to. It was exciting to get a letters from overseas.

Mary (on the right) with two unidentified friends

Other things were making life very interesting, too. About this time almost everyone had a car, phonograph, and movies were coming into the little towns.

Mary (on the left) and friends on an early version of a "pioneer trek"?

My home town
Of course, we didn’t think Oakley a small town.  [Click here to read a recent Church News article about Oakley.]  It had two drug stores--the Oakley Coop and Peoples and another store--Prices. This made rather a long main street. Anyway, we thought so. It used to take all day to do the town on the Fourth of July. We would start just as soon as the stores were open, and walk from end of main street to the other, buying a box of pink popcorn first thing. Later in the day, watermelon would be served and this would be the season’s first–a marvelous treat for the tired and thirsty. Melons have never been just that good since. Yes, Oakley, Cassia County, Idaho was a wonderful place to live.

Mary and an unidentified friend--Maybell Haight?

My Grandparents
My mother’s people lived in Marian, about five miles from Oakley. She would take us children for visits. It was almost an all day trip with a horse and buggy. I never knew my Grandmother [Eliza Primrose Shields] Smith. She died the Fourth of July, 1899.

Eliza Primrose Shields (1857-1899) and Adam Gibson Smith (1852-1911)

But I knew Grandfather [Adam Gibson Smith], and he was one of the kindest persons I have every known. His store was a delight and the jelly beans he would give us were the best ever. They are a favorite candy to this day. Grandfather was Bishop of Marian Ward for many years. He was Bishop when he died in 1911. He, with his family, were the first to colonize that town.

The following account is taken from the History of Idaho: a narrative account of its historical progress, its people and its principal interests, Volume 3, 1914 (Google eBook) by Hiram Taylor French:
Adam G. Smith, who was a native of Iowa, and who came to Utah as one of the early pioneers of that state. He became a farmer in his new home and until 1880 was a well known resident of Utah. At this time he came to Idaho and settled in Goose Creek valley, where he engaged in farming and stock raising. He was quite successful in this business and continued to be thus engaged until 1902, when he began his mercantile career, by buying out the branch store of the Oakley Co-operative Company, at Marion, Idaho. He became an even more successful merchant than he had been a farmer, and at his death was accounted one of the prosperous men of the county. He died in June, 1911. Adam G. Smith was three times married, and was the father of thirteen children. His second wife, Eliza Shields, was the mother of George A. Smith, who was the tenth child. Mrs. Eliza Smith was born in Utah, and died on the 4th of July, 1899, in Idaho.

Back to Mary's account:
My grandfather [George Page Whittle] built the first brick home in Oakley for his first wife [Mary Jane Lee]. He was a polygamist. He had two wives [Mary Jane Lee (1856-1919) and Ann Jenetta Severe].

Mary Jane Lee with grandchildren, circa 1909

Early memories
The family was growing and our interests also. The town of Oakley was to build a dam. Father did a great deal of the construction work on the trestle that would carry the water from Cottonwood to the valley of Oakley. [The dam was completed in 1911.]  This at one time was the largest dirt dam in the world--or so we were told. At Easter time on the days we would play hooky from school, the dam was the most delightful place to go.

I believe the school teachers welcomed “Hooky Day.” This was as traditional as Easter itself. About a week before Easter, it was understood that all the eggs that were to be found were to be stored in what we called an Easter hole. This was a hole in the ground where the grass was cut into a square place, the earth scraped out, making a cool place to keep the eggs until we could take them to the store and trade for Easter candy and things to fill a picnic basket with.

My first major trip
The first trip of any consequence was when I was about eighteen years old--probably seventeen. My Mother’s brother, George A. Smith, lived in Portland, Oregon. He came to Oakley to visit us. I’m sure I must have been a challenge to him. I’d never been 25 miles from home, never eaten in a restaurant, and certainly was in need of something to stimulate a desire for broader understanding of life. In fact, to put it in Uncle George’s words (I can hear him yet), “Maggie, that girl needs to get the sage brush out of her hair. Let her come to Portland to visit.”  I guess Mother and Father thought that was a big request for one so inexperienced to go so far away. It took some time before they consented, but I did spend two weeks away.

Mary and her Uncle George A. Smith at Crown Point, Columbia River Highway, Portland, Oregon, 1922

They put me on the train in Minidoka, near Burley. That way I wouldn’t need to leave the train until I arrived in Portland. I was excited and worried, too. How would I manage at the other end of the line? I’m sure Uncle George had my concern at heart for he came to the Dallas (?), Oregon just to ride back to Portland with me. He surely was a wonderful and welcome sight. I stayed at the nicest hotel, Multhomah, for ten delightful days. The nice part about it all was Uncle George’s friend to see that I was cared for at all time. I have never been in a city so big and to be alone was frightening. In fact, when I left the hotel by myself, I would only go one block each way around it so I couldn’t get lost. The trip at that time of my life was more than mere words will ever be able to express. It did show me the necessity of getting more out of life than being content with the small world we lived in at Oakley.

Family moves to Blackfoot
It wasn’t long after that the family moved to Blackfoot, Idaho. Father had started to work for the Elkhorn Creamery that was owned by the Armour Company of Chicago. His headquarters were to be at Pocatello. A place to live there was difficult to locate so the family settled in Blackfoot on South Shelling Street. This was an interesting lime for us at an age when boyfriends were important and we didn’t date as early as they do now. In our neighborhood were families with boys the right age for me.

William Casper Whittle (1876-1937)

GERALD:  Grandpa Whittle traveled a good bit. He worked for a National Dairy but I do not recall in what capacity. I do remember that he would take Richard and I down to the dairy  plant in Pocatello. It was always cold inside. They processed and bottled milk and cream and churned butter. The buuter was held in large steel tubs and kept in cold rooms until they were ready to package it. Grand pa Whittle would take us into the cold room and dig a chunk of butter out of the tub with his fingers and put it into his mouth and invite us to do the same - which we eagerly did.(sanitation standards were a little different in those days) I can still remember how good that fresh butter tasted. I could not have been more than 5 or 6 years old at the time .

Because of his traveling job, I did not know Grandpa Whittle very well not like I did Grandma Whittle, or Ralph and Theo. I think they referred to Grandpa Whittle as Casper Whittle.

LETTER FROM MARY’S MOTHER, MARGARET SMITH WHITTLE:
The original of the following letter was sent to Richard G. Scott on June 21, 2006 by Diane Ellis, Assistant to the Matron in the Anchorage Alaska temple and a descendant of Adam Gibson Smith.  The letter was written to her mother, Dorcas Janette Smith Wilson, by her Aunt Maggie, Margaret Shields Smith, who had just visited her in Oakley, Idaho.  Sister Ellis writes: “Edna Smith, my mother’s mother, had passed away in 1930 and Mother was raising her three younger brothers.  Mother did this for six years.  Mother said that Aunt Maggie thought she did not have a nice dress and so sent her one.”
   
Pocatello, Idaho
May 31st, 1933

Dear Dorcas,

Don’t be too surprised when you get this letter and a package from me.

I was in town this afternoon and found something I think you might like if it’s the right size.  You may wonder why I have done what I have, but I’ll tell you just why and also how I feel about a lot of things.

My heart goes out to you, because I realize you have a big job and I know you miss your mother like I missed mine, but I know this too, if you do your best and don’t complain you will be blessed above any thing that you can even imagine.  We sometimes have to go thru a lot we cannot understand but it’s the things that develop our characters more than any thing else.  I’m perhaps peculiar in a good many things.  I believe in flowers for the living, while they are here to enjoy them and for the dead, a life worthy of the approval of my loved ones who are gone, to me then, flowers are only a waste of money, but a life above reproach and one that can be said, she is so and so’s daughter, I’m proud to honor my parents by my good actions and works, and I know that’s just the way you feel.  Don’t feel blue or discouraged because you will be rewarded for your good deeds.  I know it’s nice to have things like others, but money cannot take the place of a conscience that knows it has done its best.

Well Dorcas I won’t go on any longer.  I only hope I’ve got the right size, and that you like it.  If it’s too large sent it back and I’ll try and get one that fits.

Have sent it with lots of love to ou, and only wish I was nearer so I could chat with you occasionally.

We thoroughly enjoyed our trip the other day.  Casper went to Star Valley yesterday.  I must quit now and shell some peas for dinner.  Am having greem peas and new spuds.

    Lots of good luck & good wishes
    Aunt Maggie

If any one asks where you got your dress, tell them it’s one you had a coming.  Be sure & write.  Love to you, Dad & the boys.

Margaret Shields Smith Whittle (1878-1952)

Impressive neighbors
MARY:  We lived across the Street from Idaho Senator Peter G. Johnson. He was also in the stake presidency and he had a son, Lloyd, that I did enjoy going places with. Of course, the folks did approve of him because he was from a good Mormon family. I used to help Aunt Flora, as we called Sister Johnson. I remember one day she was so excited because Idaho U.S. Senator Borah, was to be a luncheon guest at their home. I was impressed I can tell you, for I, too, got to see him. I remember Uncle P.G. as we called him said not to fix special for him, that they would just eat in the kitchen. They did, too. It was a great big homey kitchen with table dining-room sized. He knew that a good man, no matter what his station in life, likes to be one of the family and Senator Borah was just that.

Meeting my future husband
About this time in my life another chapter was beginning to open up. My brother LeRoi came home from work one night with the news that a new fellow had arrived in town....after I met the new man in town [Kenneth Leroy Scott], the one my brother thought wouldn’t be interested in me, we were married in six months [on 20 July 1925]....

Mary and Kenneth on their honeymoon

[See the continuation of Mary’s story, how she and Kenneth met and fell in love, and their marriage and honeymoon in the Dec. 2, 2010 post.]

Kenneth recovers miraculously from cancer; he and Mary serve in the D.C. temple

WALTER [from a life sketch he gave at Kenneth’s funeral on May 1988]: 
Just a few years after [retiring from the Inter-American Development Bank], Dad had a real battle with cancer [about 1973-74]. This demonstrated, I think, many of the other great qualities of this man. His patience and long suffering through that very difficult period, never complaining.

Kenneth after a later surgery in Oct. 1984.  Walter on the left, Carrie (child), and Mary.  On the back of the photo, Mary wrote:  "Made it with good help from families. 10 Nov. 1984"

He had great faith, he appreciated what was done for him, he never lost his perspective and there were expressions of admiration by the medical people who treated him. Finally, the illness became so severe, that in the last operation, the doctor said they just couldn’t treat him. It had spread so far and they felt the best thing to do was let him enjoy what they thought would be a short period remaining in his life. But his faith and the love of life that he had, some priesthood blessings [including one by his sons] and, of course, the blessings of the Lord that came from those conquered that serious illness. He completely recovered and never had a reoccurrence of it.

Mary and Kenneth in the 1970s or 1980s

I suppose the highlight of that experience was when he was set apart as a temple sealer by President Kimball and promised at that time as he was recovering from his illness, that he would have the strength and vigor of youth, which he had for many years. [Kenneth was ordained a sealer on 21 Nov. 1974.]

He loved his calling as a sealer and was able to seal a number of the members of the family and many others.

MARY [from a tape recording on August 22, 1989]:
I don’t remember the exact date of Kenneth’s illnesses, but he had four different attacks with cancer. He got along alright. He used to drive to take his therapy at the hospital--he’d drive himself there for awhile, after he was getting better. Then he came down with it again. But he had four definitely different attacks, and [after surgery for the] last one the doctor said, “I have just put you back together [so you can] have a few more months of enjoyment in this life.” He said, “I didn’t dare probe any further.” So that wasn’t the best of news.

[However, this discouraging news was offset by the experience Mary had had before Kenneth went in for the surgery]:
MARY:  I was restless. I wasn’t really sleeping. I had a very encouraging occasion. It felt like someone had put their hand on my shoulder and told me, ‘Let not your heart be troubled, neither let you be afraid.’ After that I relaxed and was able to sleep....

In the meantime, the temple had opened in Washington D. C. and they were looking for temple workers. He was getting around enough that they asked us to be temple workers. We told them we’d love to do it. He was set apart as a temple worker and I was also about the same time. That was about a month or two before the temple was dedicated. President Kimball came to set apart temple workers. Kenneth told him that he had been ill, but it didn’t bother President Kimball. Jeanene and Richard were there, and I think Gerald and Betty were there. When President Kimball set him apart, he promised him the health and vigor of youth, which he did for nine years while we were able to work in the temple.

Mary's caption:  "Sealers," Washington, D.C. temple, May 1984".  Kenneth is on the far left in the second row.

From tape recording of Kenneth & Mary, about 1980:
MARY: Now we’re in the temple. For me it’s the most exciting, most interesting, and the very most choice experience that an older person can have. I hope that we can fulfill our obligations there as we should.

Mary and Kenneth in their temple clothes, circa 1970s

KENNETH: Yes, I value this temple calling very, very much. Being a sealer in the temple is one of the choicest experiences that a person can have.

The ordinance that I’m able to pronounce upon a couple being married is the crowning sealing of the temple. It’s described as the greatest blessing that the priesthood can be stow in this life time.
So I value that very, very greatly and it’s a great privilege to work in that [ D.C.] temple and have the opportunity to talk with folks who are coming in there, couples to be sealed for time or eternity or to have the children sealed to them....

Kenneth's line of authority as a sealer.  (Double click on image to enlarge.)

MARY: It was a very choice experience to be in there when President Kimball set him apart for that special calling.  That was just after Dad’s operation and he was just getting better, and President Kimball told him, “You’re going to have the health and vigor of youth if you live the way… “ and it certainly has been proven.

President Spencer W. Kimball (1895-1985).  He was ordained President of the Church in 1973.

Of course, there have been a lot of choice experiences with family relationships, when you boys have been here when he’s been administered to and girls have been in on it. I think some of the very choice family things that you don’t write about or talk very much about because they’re really too special. You just don’t do those things very often. You just don’t know how thrilling and how wonderful it is to be part of some thing lasting as something as a sealing in the temple is. That’s...forever.

KENNETH:  I firmly believe that my miraculous healing from a serious and spreading cancerous condition, following a marvelous blessing under the hand of my five High-Priest sons and in the presence of my dear wife and our five wonderful daughter-in laws, was the blessing of a loving Heavenly Father to give me an opportunity to work as a sealer in the Washington Temple and there to counsel righteous living to the many church members I am privileged to talk with in that sacred House of our Lord and Savior.

I am seriously trying to make the most of those opportunities to serve my fellow brothers and sisters and to live the kind of mortal life my Heavenly Father desires me to live.

...Sometimes when I pronounce the sealing ordinance, I think that this is the pronouncement to your mother and myself and our children and it gives me great satisfaction to know that sealing which is pronounced throughout all eternity is something that we can enjoy and it is available to us and all we have to do is just to live in keeping with the commandments.

Four generations of Scotts (L to R): Elzumer,  Larry, seated on Mary's lap, Kenneth, Betty and Gerald Scott

When you have that great promise in your mind and knowing that it has been pronounced on our own wonderful family, it just gives you strength to do your utmost to live righteously in the hopes that we will live, all of us, in a way that we will receive that greatest of all pronouncements sometime and enter a good and faithful servant.

ANN [from a brief summary she wrote of Kenneth’s and Mary’s later years]:
Mary had the distinct honor of being among the first ordinance workers in [the Washington, D.C.] temple and [there] performed the very first initiatory work for deceased women. She served there for nearly nine years and again in the Salt Lake Temple for almost six months after she and her eternal companion moved to Salt Lake City. She reluctantly gave this work up because of her husband’s failing health.

[Kenneth’s other Church callings included Ward Clerk, 2nd Counselor in the Chevy Chase Ward Bishopric, Washington, D.C. Stake, and Librarian of the Regional Genealogical Library, located near the Washington DC Temple.]

TOM MCKINNEY (Husband of Carol Scott, daughter of Gerald and Betty Scott, 3 Feb. 2011):

[We] honor [Kenneth and Mary] who are so pivotal in the lives of all of us.  Their existence and the decisions they made to join together and to have created such an amazing family not only blesses us, but the hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of people whose lives are blessed by the presence of their sons on the earth and the inspiration they provide.  Each of those boys have likewise given birth to an amazing posterity …that when assembled back together on the other side will have “many chairs” in which I know all of us will be seated.

Mary and Kenneth with some of their grandchildren, circa 1970s.  Everyone seems to be enjoying Grandma's struggle to help Holly stay in her seat!

I feel their influence in our lives from the other side so many times during this mortal trek that we’re on.  There are so many memories of them that stand out so vividly in my mind as I reflect back on them…but a couple stand out that I’ll share.

When Carol and I went to the Washington Temple to be sealed by Grandpa, my parents who are not members of the Church went to Washington with me to be part of something that was so special to us…and something so sacred that they could only participate in by waiting in the guest waiting room of the temple.  I can only imagine the love that my parents had for me to support me in something that was so important to me…knowing that for them, they would have to participate at its pinnacle peripherally by waiting the guest room of the temple.

Immediately after we were sealed, Grandpa and Grandma went down to the guest room and Grandpa reached out to my parents and shared with them in his unique way just how important that sealing ceremony was for us…. He in his wonderfully loving way soothed for them what I know was a pain at not being able to be there in the sealing room themselves.  That reaching out was so important to my parents and to me.  Through the remainder of my mother’s life, and still ever-present in my father’s memory who is still with us is that loving embrace by Grandpa and Grandma Scott.  They have and continue to beam a profound love for them whenever they are mentioned in conversation that directs us to their memory.

Immediately after they visited with my parents, Carol and I dressed for the photographs outside of the temple.  We were photographed in front of the Washington Temple doors.  Standing just behind those doors still in their Temple White clothing was that amazing couple peering at us through the glass…together admiring the activities taking place just beyond the doors.  In the photograph, within and through the reflection of the doors, they appear almost as spirits blended into the glass looking out at us.

Tom and Carol Scott McKinney, sealed by Kenneth on 16 Aug. 1977

Throughout our married life, I continue to see in my mind’s eye that couple continuing to peer and participate in the expansion of their posterity here on this side of the veil.  Knowing they are there participating in the great orchestration that is being assembled on that side of the veil for the events that have been and will soon be unveiled to all of us is so comforting to me beyond what words can express.  I can only express my gratitude for having been incorporated into such a amazing family and being given the opportunity for my posterity to share in such a noble heritage.

And one last thought that I think of when I think of “Great Grandpa Scott”.  When our Emily was just a small toddler, she was the most amazing little girl.  She was that little girl that everyone who saw her just wanted to pick up and hug so much.  During those last visits of Kenneth with us here in the South, whenever we would visit Gerald and Betty with our kids, generally on a Sunday, our little Emily, who was not talking at the time, would always wiggle out of our arms and head over to wherever Kenneth was sitting.  She would turn around and back up to him right next to his legs and want him to pull her up...to sit next to him.  The image of that little angel in a Sunday’s best frilly little girl’s dress, snuggled up next to her Great Grandpa, soaking in his love for her, rhetorically speaks volumes to the love I know he continues to share with all of us in our present lives.

Involved in our lives today…I have absolutely no doubt!  To the extent that we can emulate and pass forward in some small way the inspiration that he has passed down to all of us, I consider myself blessed beyond measure to have known him on this side of the veil.  Now to continue…to press forward….and await that great day of reunion.

Mary's formula for raising five wonderful sons

The following is a talk especially prepared at the invitation of Mary's Chevy Chase Ward Relief Society in the 1970s.

Mary Eliza Whittle Scott, Dec. 29, 1947

When Judy [Marriott?] called asking me to tell a few things in our family training, little did she know what she had done. Seriously, I firmly believe that Heavenly Father was especially kind to me, for He knew I wouldn’t be a very good mother unless He could give me special spirits who wouldn’t be too difficult to handle.

Wayne, Mitchel, Gerald, Richard, and Walter Scott, circa 1955

Growing up sons was a full-time job just as any thing in life demands the best in us if it is to be successful. Then with all that we can do it takes others’ help, especially with our children. Their association through the church, coming into contact with wonderful people with high ideals. Bringing it home, means putting into practical use the principles of the Gospel which have been given for our benefit and growth. Building character of worth to me counts above almost anything.

Mary with Gerald and Richard, circa 1929

Honesty:  A child must be honest. That is an absolute necessity. When honest, they are also are truthful. It is quit easy to ask “Did you or didn’t you?” when you know that they are being truthful to handle the problem. Dishonesty needs to be met with definite punishment. When honest, it should be rewarded even though the offense be greater. At least that was my belief.

Wayne, Gerald, Mitchel, Richard, and Walter Scott, circa 1947

Humility: This doesn’t mean that they are without courage or determination. It means that if the occasion arises, an apology can be given and it will be so easy for them.

Courtesy: Never ask probing questions. When your child wants to tell, believe me, you will know. I was told once, and I consider it one of the choicest complements anyone can receive after their children are grown. “You have a family tied the tightest with the loosest apron strings I have ever known.” She was a very influential woman and knew many people.

Mary Eliza Whittle Scott, March 1969

Kitchen sink conferences: This was an experience of great value. While sharing work, confidences were given. We had many such.

L to R: Betty, Gerald, Wayne, Mary, Mitch, Richard and Walter

Respect for other’s rights:   I think is very important, even with the rights of children. Little children sometimes grab their older brother’s play toys or something and parents insist on giving it back to the child because he is a baby. That doesn’t build either the baby or the adult or the older child. All these develop good family relations.

Gerald holding Walter, 1931

Keeping a promise is extremely important to me, whether it be for punishment or a reward. Don’t make a promise you aren’t sure can be kept.

Richard and Gerald, circa 1929

Leadership: Our motto is “It just takes one to lead, so be big enough to say yes or no. You’ll see how soon a good decision can be reached if you are firm on your stand.”

Richard, Walter, Gerald and Wayne in front, circa 1939, about the time they lived in Blagden Terrace

We had an instance when we lived on Blagden Terrace.  The children were playing under the street lights. Neighbor children came. We had just moved in. They were noisy and boisterous--boys and girls of about twelve or thirteen years old, an age when they thoroughly enjoy....Well, it bothered me and I didn’t like grouping and ganging so I said to the boys when they wanted to go out, “I don’t like that. Why don’t you invite them up on the porch.” They thought it was kind of old fashioned and I said, “Well, you give it a try and after a few weeks, if they don’t want to do it, why, then you can go out and play.”

Within about two months, there was an organized group that would come up upon the porch. They would enjoy each other’s company for a couple or three hours and then they’d have refreshments served and go home. It was all orderly and quiet. And it only took one person to be firm.

Inspire confidence by being honest, if it is well done; praise, not flattery, if they need to be criticized wait for an opportune time. Appreciation for an honest effort. The true value of each person is built by honest appraisal. Our boys had all their hours filled. Their toys were educational and musical:  books, and records. They’d say, “Well, bring me a record” and I’d always try to find one.  They were a thrill to listen to and also an education.

Richard on drums, Gerald on trumpet, circa 1930

Richard, Walter, and Gerald with the boats they would sail in the reflecting pool of the Washington Monument

Later we had a work shop in our basement; wood shavings and dust always. When a project was complete, I received it. Even today I have a lot of their work, each progressively better. When it was well done, I’d praise it and then point out where they could improve. It wasn’t hard to do. They were amateurs at it and liked a little encouragement.

Richard and Gerald in basement workshop

Encourage their hobbies if they can be made creative. Everyone wants to be creative. Sometimes the results may be less than desired. I said once that I would like part of a high board on the sort of a bed cut down and children were around while I was discussing it. Well, I was out for a few days later for most of the day. When I went up to the room that night, the bed had been fixed, so had the sheets, and the blanket that was on the bed. The saw was a most effective instrument. A decision had been made; creative urge satisfied, pride in his work. It wasn’t funny at the time, but now it is and I enjoy it.

Gerald and Richard work on a model airplane together

Then they had their piano lessons, and their clarinet lessons, saxophone, trombone and all that and they were in the marching band and orchestra. It gave them association and teamwork with groups. We didn’t have athletes in the family but they did march in the band for the football games, basketball games, or whatever was needed and they did make long trips with the band so that they did have associations with others.

Walt on tuba, Richard on clarinet, Gerald on trumpet, Wayne and Mitch at the piano, circa 1947

They had music camps and orchestra practice in the winter time.  I’ve had my house full of orchestras practicing--dance orchestras mainly.  In fact, in Kansas City, they said “The joint was jumping” at our home when they [reporters] came to interview them....So we really kept things busy.

“An idle brain is the devil’s workshop” and good reading habits are developed with proper selection of materials. It just isn’t possible to tell all the things that are necessary, nor can you do all the things that are necessary. You have to learn each year as they grow and develop, and it’s a growing process on both family and parents.

Mary reading at house on Taylor Street, circa 1936

Going to church was not so difficult because they were very anxious to go but we didn’t take them when they were younger. They were old enough to understand and enjoy what they heard and it was a pleasure when they did go. We never forced them.

Gerald and Richard, 1932

Needing to be with friends all the time: I see children thrown together day after day. They don’t really enjoy this. You know, fights ensue even if they are made up the next day and if they are especially good friends. I think saturated, even with good, has its effects. Learning to live with your own company is to me a great help in adult years. If you’re alone, you don’t have to run to someone else to make your own decisions for you. You’re able to do your own thinking and your own understanding of your thoughts....Otherwise with playmates and group discussion with many ideas so many sometimes that they are put aside and never acted upon, sort of, “Oh, what’s the use.”

To know each child personally: With this knowledge, a lot of problems area lot easier to solve. With our boys, each is a very different person. What could be punishment for one, was a real pleasure for the next.

Mary and Mitchel, circa 1945

Example: You can’t ask a child to do what you’re not willing to do yourself.  I mean in the character-building habits. An instance: When we left Spokane to move to Washington D.C., we had a little over a week to get here. Roads weren’t what they are now. Travel was much slower and we had to be in Kentucky for a meeting on a special day.

Our trip took us through some isolated sections, as you all know. We had three older boys then. One morning we filled a gas tank at a small station. We were hurrying on, and about ten miles from the station, Kenneth said, “That man gave me more money than he should. He can’t afford that.” We drove to a wide place where we could turnaround. Back we went, making 20 precious miles out of our way to return the $5. How glad I am that we did. For an example, it was an outstanding one to the boys. They still remember it.

Another time, when meat rationing was on, I asked Walter to bring me some meat from the meat market because it was on his way home, and I gave him the stamps to use. He came back with it and when we opened the package, there was a chicken in there that shouldn’t have been. I said, “Well this isn’t ours. I didn’t order that.” So back to the store he had to go with the extra meat. We could have used it and it would have been nice but it wouldn’t have been honest.

I can’t tell in minutes what I’ve had to learn in years. Believe me there are times when I felt nothing would ever work. Kenneth was away from home a great deal. I had to be firm. In fact, it was “What Mother wants, Mother gets.”

Mary at Morningside Dr. (per Gerald), circa 1943

I think there is something about patience, understanding with love, with firmness, that gets you over the real hurdles. Our sons were just as normal as can be. Our problems were as many as others ...All I can give credit to is the fact that we did have choice spirits. In fact, their patriarchal blessings tell each of them that they were choice spirits chosen to come forth in this day and age.

Mitchel, Richard, Kenneth, Wayne, Mary, Gerald, and Walter, circa 1955

There are so many, many things in our lives that have been effective. It is impossible to tell them, only just a few. What I want to say is that through the principles of the Church that we have known, that we existed in the pre-existence down to now is the guiding light that brings us to the knowledge of what is required of us at all times.

Mary and Kenneth with grandchildren, circa 1969